Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
