Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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