and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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