the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
send nudes
from the living room?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
