Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
