She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
