I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
