sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
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He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
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You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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