So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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