just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
