At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
vagina is talking i cant
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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