Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
