shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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