I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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