toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
