I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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