He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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