there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
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He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
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Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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