Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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