I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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