I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
