So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
