its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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