I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
