we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
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She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
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I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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