THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
