You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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