fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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