ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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