I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.