everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say