Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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