he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
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is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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