Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My ATM looks so different sober.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
