please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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