you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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