hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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