The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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