i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
