Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
