i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
4 words: hood of his car
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
