how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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