I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
