So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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