he puts the penis in happiness.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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