hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
