Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
