Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I came so hard my ears popped.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
