i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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