Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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