So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
