fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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