Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
