so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
