don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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