It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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