Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
