i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
