I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
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I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
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I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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