What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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