So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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