i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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