He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize