So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
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the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
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I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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